One of my classes this week was very caught in wanting to feel good all the time. I flashed back to how relieved I was to learn, in those early days of the 3 Principles, that humanity doesn’t pull this off much. My were clear that ups and downs, highs and lows, irritations and anticipations, were probably going to continue to wander down my thought-stream, regardless of how enlightened I became. In 2008 I spent a weekend in Salt Spring Island, and even Sydney Banks was in an irritated mood that week!
One wouldn’t think this would be good news, but I was raised in a Norman Vincent Peale household, where my mother and grandmother were very caught up in the idea of positive thinking (except, of course, when THEY were angry!) For all my life I have known that thought was huge in my experience, but some days, when I was in a full-blown thought attack, I just couldn’t think my way out of it!
So what’s the deal? If I’m not going to feel good, what good is understanding? I was listening to a recorded lecture yesterday from Adyashanti, and he said “we turn inward to the creator of our illusions, and say, I’m onto you, you are no longer fooling me!” Looking back at the last twelve years, I am amazed at the overall peace, joy and contentment that has dominated my life. Not because I feel those things all the time, but because I return to them more quickly.
Disrespecting is a big word among my post-jail students. Disrespecting my own thinking is a true freedom.