I spent a good part of my life afraid of hugs.
I would freeze up, keep my arms straight down, hands out and hold my breath. Many, many times I would suffer a small panic attack while held by someone else. My mind would scream, “RUN!” It took great effort to force myself to be. I guess at the time I felt vulnerable, exposed, maybe a little unworthy of something I didn’t understand. I always got through it with a quiet determination although those seconds felt like an eternity.
I never really understood why I suffered from being hugged; I imagine reasons and everything I think up inevitably feels sad. I guess that was a time when I didn’t trust that those hugs were meant as a good thing. That was then.
Now my life is filled with hugs that keep me connected to an array of beautiful spiritual beings.
I love hugs. I’m now the hugger. I reach out and hug people and I do so energetically. I’ve had experiences where someone looks at me with “want and sadness” in their eyes asking if it’s okay to hug me. I open up my arms and take them in. What I receive in return is better than mere words can explain. Those few seconds make my entire day! Sometimes I feel the stiffening, the hesitation. I smile to myself; I know it feels uncomfortable but I also know that the human experience of a compassionate touch is a good thing and one that is sorely lacking in many lives.
Hugs feel like an instantaneous little gift of love passing from spirit to spirit. That feeling is a small reminder that we are all connected at a profoundly deep place so far removed from the struggles we put ourselves through.
Hugs are our way of showing there is someone out there that wants you to be well. Truly an important reminder as we traipse along caught up in our day to day thoughts about life.
Come by sometime and I’ll give you the best hug! I’ll even throw you a smile to let you know that I get it and it’s going to be okay.
Life is after all a series of unfortunate thoughts about stuff that never really mattered mixed in with moments of miraculous connections helping us to stay grounded and to feel loved!